God is sneeky sometimes..

Ok, as a backdrop to that title, I am currently in the middle of a Beth Moore bible study called "A women's heart: God's dwelling place".  It's been fabulous and very much needed in terms of my discovery of God and understanding where I am on my faith journey.  There have been MANY take home messages from this bible study in regards to the way God is always present and very consistent.  One, in particular, is the idea that He places difficult times in front of us for a multitude of reasons, but two of which are these: 1) to show us what we should NOT be doing and 2) to show us what we SHOULD be doing.

Both were LOUD and CLEAR this past weekend.

Ok...backing up one more time.  When I signed our team up for the Relay for Life 2010 in Chippewa Falls, WI it was with the exact intentions and motivations that are meant to be had when signing up for something like that. I wanted to begin my journey of making change and I think this was a good jumping off point.  Cancer sucks.  It affects way too many people and is way too common now and that is scary. Beyond raising money, but creating awareness of its affects; honoring people we've lost; supporting those who are still fighting and comforting the ones left behind when the worst happens.  This is what I see these relays doing.

HOWEVER (and yes, a BIG however), I lost sight of that along the path of getting to the day of the Relay.  I was working so hard to make it perfect.  I created a laundry list of things I wanted to have at our "booth".  Signs, home-made 3 ft candles!, fake birthday presents, gift bags & party gifts, cupcakes, massages, Christmas lights, my mom's salsa, Anna's gift cards...a balloon arch! I mean really..it was a bit ridiculous of me to put so much pressure upon myself to make it all happen.  It began becoming this 'thing'...if you can imagine...a blob of a thing that I just needed to do to be recognized and noticed for all of my hard work.  Ugh, just typing those statements makes me feel arrogant...and the best part, even though I never really said it like that before the Relay...God knew.  And God knew it wasn't how I was supposed to be feeling and He knew that I knew I wasn't supposed to be feeling that way and He knew that I continued to feel that way even after I had figured it out (did ya follow all that?).  


So what did he do?  


He made it rain!! UUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! and it was hot which = muggy/humid horrible weather for a 14 hour outdoor event!


Now let me put it out there: the whole thing was perfect, it went great....for everyone...but me.  To clarify: It started good (even with rain...which was more of a continuous mist if you can imagine), then it really REALLY REALLY sucked.  Then it was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!

Here's the breakdown:
Yea! First lap!! wahoo! everyone was there...helping out! so fun!

After an hour or so, Ali & her 6 friends, Keller and I headed to Wal-Mart to meet up with Anna & Krissy and Ashley.  After purchasing rain-ponchos for everyone and transferring Ali's friends into Ashley's car, Keller & I headed home. Still hunky-dory...until THE GENERATOR!! Ugh, we wanted to light up Christmas lights but the location didn't provide electricity; Broghan and I own a very nice generator that we decided to bring up to the Relay (by we I mean we decided but I would be bringing it...meaning I had to load the stinkin' thing on the Jeep trailer...by myself).

Once home, Marvin (the dog) begins being spastic which is expected after being neglected for days due to my obsessiveness with making the Relay perfect and Keller was hungry & tired which was also expected since it was about 3 hours past his bed-time.  Now imagine this situation: spastic dog, cranky baby, rain/mist, muggy heat, MOSQUITOES GALORE! and a generator that weighs approximately twice my weight.  Blegh.

After FINALLY getting it loaded, momma need a B R E A K.  So sitting in a dark living room with a finally sleeping baby...I took a time out and listened to God who was practically yelling at me to CHILLAX'! (which I did and the rest went off without a hitch) He pushed me hard and far and it was exactly the only way I was going to listen.

The Relay wasn't about me making everything perfect or trying to control every little detail of the event and of the people I love giving so much of their time and talents to support my decision to start a team.  It wasn't about showing off everything I had arrogantly made.  It was about exactly what I wrote above: creating awareness, honoring, supporting, and comforting.  That's it.

So thank you God.  Message has been heard, realized and internalized and will not be forgotten.