Patiently (sort of) waiting..

I know this is completely cliche, but waiting sucks.  And I know it doesn't matter that we're even planning a home birth, because this part of the pregnancy experience is the same no matter where you're going to push the baby out.  I think the most difficult thing for me isn't the being pregnant.  I feel good, still sleeping well and actually since the baby dropped my acid reflux has been practically non-existent.

However, I feel this pressure to keep certain things "ready to-go".  One being me.  I need to be able to put normal life responsibilities on hold for who knows how long at any moment.  I also need to be sure Keller is ready...mostly that means that his things are put away where they should be and he is completely stocked on his necessities (diapers, snacks, clothes, books, etc...-yes books are a necessity to him).

On that list are also things that I know we mom's hear time and time again just aren't that important.  Like keeping my house somewhat tidy.  I just know that my stress levels will be so much more in check if I know that my laundry isn't sitting there waiting for me like an ugly monster, or that the refrigerator isn't empty.  I also do realize, at least on a conscious level, that when people come, they can take care of themselves and really do not care about any of that stuff.  At least I know when I go over to visit others' in this type of situations, that's my perspective.  But subconsciously, I'm not sure I believe it. And I think that's where this annoyance with waiting comes into play for not only myself but a lot of pregnant women.

You can ask my husband about my abilities to stay functional on a non-planned day.  I tend to loose sight and just float through it.  While, okay, it might seem relaxing at the time, I just end up more annoyed that I wasn't at least productive in some way.  Which could even just mean taking care of myself physically and going for a walk.  It's for this reason that I use my planner so much.  I have to write things down and schedule things ahead of time so I know how the day will go, especially with Keller.  With this whole birth thing, its unpredictable (a blessing and a curse).  Who knows when this baby will come! I wish I could say I had some sort of intuition-al feeling about it, but I just don't.  Today would be great! But really, not feeling like it's going to be.  Oh well...at least we know it won't be more than 3 1/2 weeks longer...that is guaranteed!

Sooo...back to waiting and being patient I guess...

Until next time..